Privacy has given me peace.
And I don’t say that lightly.
For most of my life, I never actually put my two feet into the deep end of not oversharing and publicizing my life. I thought being open meant being seen. I thought visibility meant validation. I thought expression meant exposure.
But honestly, not being seen by people has allowed me to see myself.
This realization changed everything.
Because when you step back from the noise of being perceived, you realized how you much of your identity was unconsciously shaped by the act of being watched.
And when that disappears, something sacred returns.
You.
The Illusion of Being “Seen”
From the outside looking in, there’s nothing to actually know– only assume.
And people can assume the craziest things based on absolutely nothing except their own fantasies about you.
It’s seriously so odd. Innit?!
To realize how much of what people “know” about you was never real in the first place.
It was projection. Interpretation. Fiction.
And for a long time, I participated in that system willingly. I offered pieces of myself to be interpreted (incorrectly), misunderstood, admired, judged, or consumed.
I thought that was connection.
But it’s not.
It was performance.
Privacy is Powerful AF
Being private holds so much fucking power (peace) that people can’t understand, yet.
Because they’re addicted to any sort of acknowledgment.
I know.
I was one of them.
There is a subtle dependency that forms when you share everything. You begin to experience yourself through the reactions of others instead of through your own direct presence.
You wait to be mirrored.
Validated.
Confirmed.
And without realizing it, you outsource your sense of self.
Choosing privacy disrupts that pattern.
Privacy returns you to yourself.
It removes the audience.
And suddenly, you’re not living to be witnessed.
Privacy gives peace (power).
Privacy Forces You to Meet Yourself
I’ve been consistently learning about myself for some time now.
Not through what I say.
But I how I hold myself.
Through my interactions. My silence. My choices. My daily life.
Privacy has made me more honest with myself because there's no one to perform for.
No one to convince.
No one to impress.
Just me.
This is the kind of relationship that is irreplaceable.
Because when you stop narrating your life for others, you finally start living it like fully living it.
The Peace That Comes From Protecting Your Energy
I have peace now not because no one knows exactly what I’m doing, feeling, or experiencing–
— but because I am present with myself in all I’m doing.
The peace is within.
It always has been.
But I had to put it in a vulnerable position for many years.
Exposed.
Handled carelessly.
Given away without understanding it’s actual value.
For what?
Couldn’t fucking tell ya.
But now, I’m keeping it close.
Holding it close… gently.
Not tightly.
Because this is such a soft time in my life.
And I owe it to the peace that’s with me.
Keeping Things Sacred Changes How You Love
I used to think showing off was intimacy.
Showing just how much I loved someone. Showing how happy I was. Showing what I had.
I thought visibility proved depth.
Wrong-o.
Keeping something sacred and just mine has allowed me to fall in love safely.
Not cautiously.
Not fearfully.
But safely.
Because when something isn’t exposed to the constant presence of outside eyes, it has space to breathe.
To grow naturally.
To exist without pressure.
Privacy creates safety.
And safety creates real intimacy.
First with yourself.
Then with everything else.
Creating a Private Life Is Creating a Safe Life
I’m creating a safe space for myself now.
Privately.
Happily.
Not because I’m hiding.
But because I’m honoring.
There is a difference.
Hiding comes from fear.
Privacy comes from self-respect.
I no longer feel the need to make my life digestible for others.
I don’t feel the urge to document every moment for others.
I don’t feel incomplete without being witnessed.
Because I am witnessing myself.
And that’s enough.
More than fucking enough, actually.
It’s Giving… Inner Peace
My peace is seriously mine and mine alone.
Privacy has allowed me to remember that.
It’s allowed me to exist without fragmentation.
Without performance.
Without dilution.
Privacy isn’t isolation.
It’s integration.
It’s where you remember that your life is not content.
Your love is not proof.
Your peace is not something to display.
It’s something to live.
Quietly.
Fully.
And most importantly, freely.
xoxoxoxxxxxxxx so many besitos,
Amber
